I grew up hating scary movies.
You see, I have a very vivid imagination. And even as a kid, I knew that it’d be best not to mix scary movies with someone who already had realistic dreams as he slept.
One time, when I was in 4th grade, I went to see Starship Troopers. It was this Sci-Fi movie based on the book by Robert A. Heinlein. It takes place on a futuristic earth, one where humanity has developed the ability to fully explore space. There’s this massive conflict where humanity is at war with giant bugs from outer space, looking to colonize Earth. However, the spirit of mankind is unyielding, refusing to let that happen. I thought the movie was awesome. And till this day, I still consider it to be one of my favorite movies.
But watching it came with a price.
As great of a movie as it was, I was afraid of getting eaten by a giant bug for over a month!
I became ultra conscious of my surroundings. I developed this habit of clearing a room whenever I entered it — something that I still do today, though for very different reasons. And I refused to take the trash out at night. The worst part was that I began to look over my shoulder, to make sure nothing was sneaking up behind me.
The funny part is that Starship Troopers isn’t even a scary movie, it’s Sci-Fi. So, imagine what life would have been like for me if I had watched something that was intended to strike fear into my heart.
It wasn’t until I went to college that I decided to give real scary movies a try. And surprisingly, instead of being afraid, I found myself frustrated with the victims, who usually fell into obvious traps.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally hated the psycho killer bad guy. But I was annoyed with the people running away because it never failed— the guy who looked over his shoulder always tripped and fell. And, the people who turned back usually died shortly thereafter.
Why do I bring this up?
Regardless of the situation, whether we’re a character from a scary movie or people who want to make significant changes in our lives, it is impossible to move forward effectively if we’re constantly looking over our shoulders.
Sometimes, it shows up in a slightly different way.
It could be that you want to move to a new, slightly more expensive place. Your lease is up soon, but you delay informing your landlord that you will not be renewing.
Why is that?
Because deep down, you are comfortable where you are and are afraid of making the change. You haven’t solidified your resolve. You soon realize that you haven’t prepared properly to step up financially, and instead of moving to the new place you desired, you find yourself renewing your lease at your current address.
How did this happen?
You were looking over your shoulder, so you tripped and fell, halting your forward progress. Not only that, you turned back. Now you’re a victim of the same living situation that you wanted to leave behind.
To put simply, you didn’t burn your boat.
It is impossible to walk fully into your future if, at the same time, you have one foot stuck in your past.
Taking that same example, if instead you had informed your landlord of your departure, you would find that your focus is only on moving forward.
You would have received instant freedom. And with this freedom, a greater desire to win. You would have found yourself hungrier for success and more resilient. You would have even been able to channel your energy more effectively toward problem solving.
And as you worked toward accomplishing your goal, you would have discovered along the way that you are capable of achieving far more than you thought before. You would begin to see that you are tougher and stronger than you had ever imagined. And ultimately, you would begin to re-frame your belief of what is and isn’t possible.
So, why is it hard to burn our boats?
Because we are conditioned to always keep a safety net.
Now, this concept is a great one to have, but the problem is that we often apply our safety nets incorrectly.
Think of an acrobat walking the tightrope. There’s a safety net in place, but the acrobat doesn’t stay at the starting point.
No. She walks forward along the rope toward the end point — her goal.
She never looks down.
The safety net is there to keep her safe, but only if she falls.
This is the correct way to use a safety net; it catches you only if you stumble while walking the path toward obtaining your goal.
It’s not a chain keeping us at our starting point. It’s not something that holds us back. A safety net can only be activated by us walking toward success, not before.
Let’s look inwardly.
What is that one thing that you’ve been working toward, but you haven’t quite made any noticeable progress?
Is it possible that you haven’t burned your boats to pursue it?
Are you using a safety net outside of its intended purpose?
Let me know in the comments below.
I’d love to read your story.